Twenty.Two.

So I'm on that ill depressive mode right now. I'm in need of money, seriously. I know, we're in a recession so everybody is moneyhungry and pocketgrungy, but I'm feeling more restricted than usual right now. Like my life has slowed to a crawl because I like the money to otherwise make that happen, ya dig?? Makes no sense? Check this:

I live in Willingboro, aka the suburbs, aka not the city. That means, transportation is limited to a car (if you have one), and a crappy bus system (yeah Burlink) i'm coming at you. Outside of that is the Transit, but like i said, me llamo el broko. So with no money to get to Philly, or my original home and personal preference, New York City, I'm forced to make do what I have around me. Which is lots and lots of....houses. In this town your options are as follows: work, chill at the crib, drink, smoke, party, have sex, sell drugs, walk around aimlessly. Oh yeah, definitely routes to making it as a writer. Or anything for that matter. See where I'm getting at?

Anyway, school is coming up, and my summer, which i planned on devoting to my writing, went to shit as a result of no money. I don't drive yet, and even if I had my license (testing the 21st of this month) I have no whip. Sooo, where's the silver lining??

Well, I'm naturally stubborn, headstrong, and not prone to standing still. So even though my situation may look sorta wack at the moment, I will get the ball rolling by the end of the fall semester. I will get out to philly and nyc to hit up some poetry cafes, studios, and whatever else my writing can reach for. I will get where I want to be. I will get that license. And a car to get me from point A to point B. And most of all, I'll keep my head above water, even as everything around me is trying to drag me down.

Twenty.One.

I was debating how I'd start numbering everything once twenty-once came about. And what you see above is what I came up with. Didn't make much sense to confuse people with dashes and shit. Though innovation can be a good thing, tradition never goes out of style.

So, I was on facebook today and it was amazing how long some of my friend's status lines are. I mean not just long. REALLY LONG. like next great American novel long. I mean seriously, what are you writing? There's only so many ways to say "Babe, I love you" or "My day is going crappy". I personally don't care about the temperature outside when your dog ran away. Nor does the thread count on that shirt you bought astound me. Seriously, if you want to ramble on about nothingness, do what I do, and blog. Otherwise, keep you statuses short and sweet. Funny and to the point will get way more attention than the potential script for "The Notebook 2".

The other day, I got a hickie. *Gasp* I know end of the world right?? So being me, I began to contemplate the meaning of the word 'hickey'. I mean, the word is so....scandalous sounding, you know? So i deemed a more appropriate term would be "Consensual sexual abuse". Think about it for a sec.

Today I pulled off the impossible. I didn't procrastinate. Any further that is lol. I scheduled for my classes this fall, put in the appeal for my finanacial aid (I know, bad Brandon) and changed my major. To what? Why communications!!!! That way, I can still write and pay the bills. Until I write the actual script for "The Notebook 2" lol.

Ok, that's it for now. But before I go, allow me to leave you with a not-so-intersting tidbit: 'osh posh' is a term that means a group or collection of something. Now use it with your friends and see what happens. LATER!

Twenty.

Wow. The big 2-0. You know, I honestly didn't think I'd keep up this consistently. 20 posts may not seem much in the likes of "no-lifer" bloggers like Perez Hilton (ugh), but for someone like me, who's rollercoaster life tends to prevent any form of consistency, this is pretty amazing. I hope you guys have enjoyed my bloggage, cause there's more to come.

Speaking of consistency, I feel the need to voice something. By asking a question: How many of you guys have been told by someone that you "aren't trying hard enough" or aren't "dedicated enough" because "they don't see 'it'"? What is 'it' exactly? Why 'it' is the effort; the blood, sweat and tears put into an object of your passion. Or at least that's holding your attention. Well it happens to me all the time. And I know that until I write the next New York Times bestseller, or become the ghostwriter for Ne-yo's ghostwriting (lol), I will be faced with those remarks of doubt.

However, to do just that, one thing that is necessary...is consistency. The grind is neverending. The research everexpanding. The talent always evolving. I think success really comes down to reaction time. Can you build up to your goal faster than people are tearing it down? And only consistency can give you the chance to do that. Unless you win the lottery, golden opportunities and sweepstakes regularly.

My point, is that whether you're just keeping a blog up to date or keeping your eye on the prize, things will halt to a screeching stop without the consistent 'it' that your family, friends, co-workers, and enemies all deem you don't have enough of.

Nineteen.

You know what really grinds my gears? People who say "you know what really grinds my gears?"

Anyway, last night I was talking to one of my close friends. He, who I will call "Michael" (not his real name), explained to me that he's talking to my other friend, who I will call "Jane" (not her real name), and that he's been receiving mixed opinions from his friends. *GASP* Naturally that's to be expected. However, to date, all said problems are coming from other females that have their own issues with Jane.

What I find interesting is how quickly people let their own personal grudges determine what they do or say. Namely, those who are telling Michael he should "be careful" or that Jane "doesn't stay in a relationship for long" are all talking from their own personal feelings, and not from any vantage point at all. In fact, most of these girls haven't seen or talked to Jane in over a year! So what does that say? You've been harboring feelings against one girl, for the last 365+ days for what reason? And now you're going to feed Michael, you're supposed friend, a bunch of negativity because of that? Get over yourselves.

As I told Michael, if they are really his friends, they'll still be there for him even if he decides to go out with Jane. Though they may not like it, as his friends, those girls should still respect his decision. If they choose to start nonsense or act shady over it, then I know where he can find an awesome pair of golden scissors that I use when it's time to cut people off.

Eighteen.

You know, I've come to realize, that unnecessary is simply a part of life in general. However, it is not required to be part of any one individual's life. What do I mean? Well, for instance, let's say you have a friend or group of friends that you seem to bend your back for constantly. However, the moment your car breaks down, or you go somewhere, or you say, "No", they reveal themselves for the energysuckers they really are.

Or, let's say you have uber low self-esteem. You throw yourself into 'relations' that you interpret in your head as being 'relationships' but when asked why you insist on continuing a habit you know isn't doing you any good, you have no answer.

Both of these are examples of unnecessary things. Whether it be people, relationships, insecurities, clothes, drugs, alcohol. Many of us have things in our life that we simply don't need. They serve as fillers for the things we really want to have. The things we really should have. The necessary stuff. Because, gaps scare us. We constantly interpret gaps as 'emptiness' or areas where bad things can settle in. But, are they really? As my mom would say, they're more like 'areas of opportunity'.

I have a friend *cough* Tommy *cough* who takes advantage of his areas of opportunity. He takes a very simplistic approach to life, and is happy because of that. He has fun, sticks to his goals, and has great, real friends that have his back. Does that mean he was born with his head on straight? No. Does that mean he doesn't have problems or never frowns? No (although I can't remember him being sad about anything lol). My point, is, he focuses on HIS necessary. Something I think we all want to do, but go about the wrong way sometimes.

Perhaps that's due to the fact that, we tend to get caught up with "life in general" instead of OUR lives. we try to incorporate everything we desire, envy, cherish, and loathe, thinking that without those things our lives will stop. But I can say from my personal experiences that I have many gaps. But I've utilized this mentality, and I have a group of friends that won't ever go anywhere. I know what my passion in life is. And I know who I am. Unnecessary objects will come and go. And aren't meant to stay in our lives. What your life is filled with comes down to one thing: What do YOU allow in? This is the thin line between necessary and unnecessary. The line that we all are standing on.

Seventeen. (Sobriety)

So last night, me and my friends were chilling. Ok, understatement. I got kidnapped by three of my friends, and after being bound and blindfolded, I was dragged to....T.G.I.Fridays! LOL, and they made me walk in that way. It was probably one of the funniest things ever. And when they took the blindfold off, I was sitting across from a table full of my other friends!!! It was really a priceless experience. As you can see, me and my friends sorta just live in our own world, with it's own rules. We have yet to sober up to the "real world" or "reality" as so many lame asses call it. Sure, one of those lame asses could have really thought I was being kidnapped. Then what? They call the police, yada, yada, yada, a fun time immediately turns to a game of Monopoly with no get out of jail cards in sight. Honestly, I think people need to just loosen up and have fun like we do.

Which brings up the fact that I saw on the cover of a tabloid today that Kate Gosselin spanked her kid in pubic. This is front page news people. My question is why? Cause she's white? And the general stereotype of white parents is that they don't beat their children unless it's to the point of abuse or worse? Or is it the fact that she's rich, famous, and has her own reality show, along with a small country of kids and the husband she's currently getting a divorce from. Ten bucks says it's the latter. But I honestly don't see the problem. If I had 8 kids, I'd have scheduled daily beatings for all of em! Cause lord knows I can't watch all of them at once! Or I'd just beat them every fifteen minutes or so just cause I know they did something bad within that time. I bet that's what Kate was doing. I don't know about you, but I got my ass WHOOPED. And I learned well. When I see those kids/teens who curse out their parents, or act out, or seemingly act like they pay the bills, I say, "They're missing an ass whooping in their lives." It's very simple logic. So Kate, even though you're a self-conscious, spray-tanned, billion-dollar haircut monster...spank their asses. In public, in private, and everywhere in between. The only ones who'd get mad at that tabloid cover, and the exaggerated article within are the ones who's kids are or will soon be giving them the finger every time they ask them to say thank you. Whatever people like that are drinking, I sure do want some, just to see if my brain cells explode on consumption and turn me into a weak ass individual.

Hmm....maybe it isn't the youth who needs to sober up after all....

Sixteen.

I'm baaaaaaack!!!! Lol, what's up ladies and germs I missed ya!

No, really I have. The workings of life have this profound ability of being utterly crazy and unpredictable, thereby pulliing me away from the diligent task I've so graciously promised to take on. You like how I worded that right? So I was watching 6Teen on cartoon network (that show goes hard lol) and one of the characters, Jude, who's this white rocker kid that's really chill and weird, comes up with this pretty funny explanation as to why money shouldn't have a value and that teriyaki sticks should be used as currency instead. crazy random tv stuff aside, he has a point. money is what? green paper. and yet, because it's backed by gold, and someone gives THAT a value, it has a value. But, in essence, it's worthless. Money is nothing more than a system of power to keep poor people poorer, rich people richer, and the middle class screwed. The fact that our lives are dominated by and aimed at getting sheets of Monopoly money really is frustrating, especially when you know you can't do anything about it. Why? Cause money makes the world go round, and to do, get, and live how we want, that's exactly what we need to have. Crazy right?