Thirteen.

Good evening guys. Well, good morning as it's 2:30 in the am on sunday. Clearly, I have nocturnal blood flowing through my veins. Anyway, today was uneventful. Let's see....I woke up. Went to the karate school (I help teach tae kwon do to kids and I take classes myself), then came home. Helped mom with the groceries. Then got money out the bank. From which I went to work and entered what I like to call "6-hour depression".

Every time I walk into that facility, my blood pressure rises, I get a headache, and I suddenly crash. Good mood I was having before? Gone. I don't care if I just got some fifteen minutes before I walked through that door. All positivity is gone. It's just a part of working with retail. But I will maintain that once you work retail...you can handle anything. Because it builds one key skill: patience.

For example, I can't count how many people came up to the counter today. They dump their stuff on the counter. A line begins to form behind them. And you start ringing them up. And they say this: "What aisle is the [insert your favorite product] in?"

Pause.

Okay, now, the lost logic is very simple to find in this situation. Do not. I repeat. DO NOT. Come to my register if you don't have all your stuff. Otherwise, I get a line. And I either A) have to wait for you or B) have to call the manager for a void. Either way, it...ticks me off. And the other customers. Also, there's a reason why hugungous signs are hanging above each aisle telling what's there. So do the unthinkable and just...look.

Now let's say you have all your stuff. Kudos to you. But the rudest thing a customer can do is step to the register on the phone. Tell whoever you're talking to to hold on. Or, even better, "I'll call you back." Because then, I have to guess who you're talking to while you're talking. You don't have multiple mouths. You have one. And all my bluetooth geeks out there (I can talk cause I have one) don't think that makes things any better. In fact, it's worse. You already look like a crazy schizo. No need to add rude to that combo.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST. This goes out to all my bargaintards out there. I HATE people who walk in a store, buy a bunch of shit, and cause havoc about not getting a sale they "think" they should get. Despise them. Like I hate avocado or asparagus. Which is really bad. The only thing I hate more are the people that leave the store and come back five minutes later, expecting to skip a whole line of people just to get ten cents back from a product that didn't ring up properly. That's along the lines of how I feel about people who don't know how to discipline their kids.

Which brings me to my final point. I know Billy and Caitie are so adorable. I know Jaquan and Lanae are so cute. however, if they bounce one more ball down the aisle, or ring that bell one more time, I will be forced to step around the counter and tear their asses up. Seriously. And it amazes me, cause the parents stand there. Meanwhile their kids are acting all hella types up, and talking back. When I was little, if I even thought of thinking about talking back, a hand was already across my face. Or a belt was across that ass. What happened to that? Where has the belt gone? Now we have dog collars and shit. Beat them in public. Just once. And I don't mean a little wimp beatdown. I mean a "momma" beatdown. Cause we all know those hurt the most lol. I'm telling you, the embarassment alone will shape em up.

Okay, I'm done with my super-rant. Hope you guys laughed a bit. Next time: muumuu-wearing grandmas! seriously, i got some funny stories for you all! Thanks for reading!!! And remember: Check out my other links! On the right side of my page!